Too Many Cats
by Jinnie the
You know you have too many cats when
- Every time you open the bathroom door, a little furry creature
races past you and perches on the toilet seat for a drink before you
- Your refrigerator door has its own groupies.
- When you open the doors to your house, the cats coming and going
resemble the famous Bull Run of Pamplona.
- The rooms in your house are segregated for cats with good
behavior, bad behavior, and I just don't get along with anyone.
- You can't use the can opener or open a can without suddenly
feeling like a giant foot and legwarmer has just engulfed you. (You
certainly can't try to turn around in the kitchen at this point without
breaking a leg.)
- You can't eat anything at all ever without your cats looking at
you as if they are auditioning for a poster pet for a third world
- In the farthest corner of your house and the most unlikely place
to find it, yes, you find tiny grains of cat litter.
- You hear so much hacking from cats trying to throw up fur balls,
you think you have gone to an asthma clinic.
- Walking from the kitchen to the living room with a bowl of ice
cream, you muster your adrenaline because you know you will be running
an obstacle course as your cats fling themselves in your path to the
- You never watch television, work on the computer, or read a book
without a furry creature inserting its little body in front of, on, or
around you or the object of your attention.
- You have an expense account to buy those roller brushes to remove
pet hair from your clothes.
- And, last but not least, you know you have too many cats in your
house when you never feel unwanted, unloved, or alone at anytime day or