Too Many Cats
by Jinnie the Perky Goth
    You know you have too many cats when ...

• Every time you open the bathroom door, a little furry creature races past you and perches on the toilet seat for a drink before you get there.
• Your refrigerator door has its own groupies.
• When you open the doors to your house, the cats coming and going resemble the famous Bull Run of Pamplona.
• The rooms in your house are segregated for cats with good behavior, bad behavior, and I just don't get along with anyone.
• You can't use the can opener or open a can without suddenly feeling like a giant foot and legwarmer has just engulfed you. (You certainly can't try to turn around in the kitchen at this point without breaking a leg.)
• You can't eat anything at all ever without your cats looking at you as if they are auditioning for a poster pet for a third world country.
• In the farthest corner of your house and the most unlikely place to find it, yes, you find tiny grains of cat litter.
• You hear so much hacking from cats trying to throw up fur balls, you think you have gone to an asthma clinic.
• Walking from the kitchen to the living room with a bowl of ice cream, you muster your adrenaline because you know you will be running an obstacle course as your cats fling themselves in your path to the sofa.
• You never watch television, work on the computer, or read a book without a furry creature inserting its little body in front of, on, or around you or the object of your attention.
• You have an expense account to buy those roller brushes to remove pet hair from your clothes.
• And, last but not least, you know you have too many cats in your house when you never feel unwanted, unloved, or alone at anytime day or night.